Being an adult isn't so great after all. When I was a kid I can remember wanting to be good, to gain approval from my parents and other adult figures in my life. It wasn't that difficult really, especially since I could count on affirmation for being a 'good girl' or punishment of some sort when I screwed up. I never really anticipated that becoming the judge of my own character would be such a burden.
In grown up land, we can't depend on mom or dad telling us to go to the corner. Rather, after adults do something stupid we sit in the corner of guilt and shame. But this corner doesn't always end after 5 minutes, it can last forever if we let it. It has been my preference (not as if I enjoy it, but it's the dreaded emotion that creeps up every time I go against my best judgement) to retreat to this proverbial 'guilt' corner since I was a child. Not that I don't ever want to feel guilty, because that very feeling tells me that I still have a moral pulse.
To find the proper ways to cope with those feelings-ah, that's is the rub. At times I might try to allay my ill feelings by expressing them artistically, tending to write poems or sketch. But rarely do choose I speak my true feelings to anyone...other than God. I guess that's not wise either, since relationships are strengthened through communication and based on trust.
I think that we may safely trust a good deal more than we do.
~Henry David Thoreau
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